AHS Hotel, Episode 10, She Gets Revenge

The last installment of AHS this year is the continuation of the Countess’s revenge. Will Drake is dead and Ramona lingers trapped on the un-escapable floor.  What will become of Donavon, now that Valentino has been found?  Why have an imitation instead of the original?  But will Valentino still love the Countess after learning of the savage vampire she has become?

The episode opens in reception with Liz narrating.  She’s sees her job as providing secrecy for all matters of taboos; couples doing drugs, a place for hidden trysts and a place to end it all.  An elderly couple checks in to celebrate their sixth wedding anniversary.  As Liz shows them the room she knows they are there to commit suicide together.  Moments after some champagne, they shot each other in the head. Liz enters the room followed by Iris.  “Have you ever seen something so beautiful?” Iris looks at the scene more pragmatically, the room will take hours to clean.  Liz breaks down and confesses she’s lost the will to live since Tristan was murdered. She grabs one of the guns and places it on her temple.  Iris begs her not to kill herself, at least not in the hotel where she would be doomed to dwell forever.  Iris expresses her fatigue with life, despite her new immortality.  Liz and Iris make a pack to end their lives together as soon as they get their affairs in order.

Ms. Evers assists Liz with calling her son to invite him to Los Angles to stay at the Hotel for a week.  Once off the phone, she asks Liz how long it’s been since she’s seen her son. Liz confesses its been thirty one years, but she’s sent money.  Ms. Evers thinks its folly to expect him to accept Liz.  “In my day, fairies knew better then to father children!” (She doesn’t understand transgender people but she is from a hundred years ago!)  To stop her tirade, Liz gives her some Oxyclean, and she’s “As happy as Christmas morning!”

John looks at the trophy room with Sally peering over his shoulder. “You’re a marvel John Lowe!”  Ears are pinned for the sin of worshiping false idols.  John recalls the murders of some pagan worshippers.  He introduced himself to them as “Death” and murdered about three people.  Back in the secret room, Sally tells him, “One more and you’ll be free.”

A record starts, Donavon sets out into the California sunshine at the run down motel where Valentino is staying.  The Countess greets Natacha at her penthouse. Donavon confronts the silver screen star.  Valentino sees Donavon as a “pretty boy” past his prime.  The Countess and Natacha taunt one another, and she calls the Countess a mere fan and “little mouse.”  The men’s conversation turns violent, Valentino takes out a sword, much to Donavon’s amusement.  Donavon shoots the vampire actor in the face, killing him.  The Countess shoots her rival, asking the new corpse, “Who’s the little mouse now!”  Donavon relishes his rival’s ruined face and tastes his blood adding, “I have better cheekbones, that go on for days!” (What the Countess said to him as she turned Donavon into a vampire.)

Mr. March has tied up his contractor and is wearing a fearsome leather mask.  The man apologizes for the delay in construction but of course March is not swayed.  He turns on a gas line and lights the man on fire.  As he inspects the burned corpse, John enters, begging March for information about Alex’s whereabouts.  March has new ideas for them for after the Ten Commandment murders. March thinks worrying about his wife will only distract John from their work together.  Finally, March gives in and arranges a meeting.

John waits for Alex in March’s dining room as Ms. Evers twitters about babbling about tea and arguing on an empty stomach.  Alex appears as a perfect Victorian widow.  She admits to John she lied about Holden because she wanted him for herself.  They both agree they’ve abandoned Scarlett and are bad parents. (Understatement of the year!)  The Countess has learned about the pack of vampires Alex unknowingly created by saving Max from the measles.  Alex says the Countess has threatened to kill her and Holden unless she can fix this problem.  John offers to help, he’ll do anything for Holden. 

Liz taps her fingers nervously at the bar.  Ms. Evers assures her things will be fine and her son is coming down to the bar presently.  The two strike up an easy conversation, the son even complements her dress.  As the drinks flow, he confesses his father has been on his mind and he’s in town to reunite with him.  Faced with a perfect opening, Liz demurs on revealing herself to him.  However, she seems satisfied by the time they’ve just shared.

John and Alex head to the mansion where the vampire kids had been living.  As they make their way through the darkened house, Alex hears coughing.  She finds a girl  on the floor, ill and coughing.  As Alex goes to help her, Max and the others emerge to threaten her.  John threatens to shoot the kids but then the ill girl’s condition worsens.  Alex performs CPR on the girl but cannot save her. (Do these vampires have beating hearts? I’m so confused!)  Max is upset at the girl’s death.  Alex explains “It’s too late for Kimmy.”  John adds, “It doesn’t have to be too late for the rest of you!”

The Countess had guests, police are there to take her missing person report on her husband Will Drake.  The Countess is wearing a dull pantsuit and pearls and speaks in a most affected manner.  The male detective suggests the groom got “cold feet” after the ceremony.  Suddenly, Drake appears stating he was simply lost in the hotel’s new construction area for TWO DAYS.  The Countess escorts the police out, “Nice to have a happy ending without all the tugging and pushing!” (Meow!)  Drake is upset she murdered him and deduces that was her plan all along.  He reminds her she is not in the will, his son should inherit his empire.  The Countess threatens to make Laclan “One of her own blood.”  Drake has figured out she’s a vampire and she observes he’s smarter dead then he was in life.  As Drake leaves enraged, March pops up to say, “I told you would regret killing him at the hotel!”

Alex and John usher the kids to through the hotel lobby.  They take an elevator to the dark, seemingly empty floor.  The murderous gaggle seems scared for the first time. Alex assures them she’ll be right back with something or someone to eat.  The kids reluctantly file inside.  The last kid has to be pushed by John who moves to quickly shut a steel door behind him.  The kids yell and blame Max for trusting Alex.  The kids see corpse on the floor.  Ramona appears saying, “I smell appetizers!” (She maybe vicious and powerful but she is outnumbered. Some kids still appear to be fighting the measles, could they infect her? Do we even care at this point?)

Alex and John are naked and alone in his room.  Alex isn’t sure if she trusts her rekindled feelings for her soon to be ex-husband.  She senses something different in him, stating he seems “more whole.”  She leaves him to go check on the children.  Out of the shadows, Sally emerges.  She is jealous of Alex and implores John to stay with her because his wife would never accept him if she knew he was a serial killer.  They argue and make violent passes at one another.  John likens Sally to an “addict’s high” a fleeting pleasure.  As he dresses to leave, Sally becomes more desperate, they choke each other and she brings out a knife.  She tells him Alex abandoned him while she’s been at his side since Holden’s disappearance.  On the floor, crying, Sally tells John she might kill Alex.  He leaves her.

Liz and Iris present Ms. Evers with a modern washer and dryer.  The old maid is ecstatic! It is a thank you for her help with reuniting Liz with her son.  Iris and Liz walk down the hall, contemplating their method of suicide.  Ms. Evers calls out that Douglas is waiting for Liz at the bar.  Liz rushes down to share a drink with him. He reveals he knows Liz is his father. She is touched, “How could I have raised a son with such compassion?”  Douglas points out that his mother raised him because he abandoned them.  Still, he accepts Liz saying simply, “I have room for another woman in my life.”

Donavon serves the Countess some red meat. (These vampires eat?)  He says he’s surprised she is not still on her honeymoon in Paris, murdering her husband and dumping his body in the Seine.  She confesses she killed him after he insulted her child by feeding him to Ramona.  Donavon mocks sadness at not being able to “hate watch” this event with her.  He brings up her “boyfriend” asking if he’s texted her lately.  He then laughs saying she can forget about “Facetime” with him.  The Countess leaves to Valentino’s motel room.  She finds his  bullet-ridden corpse, concealed blood all around his head.  What will Donavon’s punishment be?

Iris is working on a laptop as Liz strolls in her room.  She says she’s finally finished her memorial video, and she shows Liz.  It contains pictures of rainbows and tulip fields with the song, “I Hope You Dance.” By Lee Ann Womack.  Liz looks at the bed where Iris has assembled guns, ropes and other implements of self-destruction.  Liz has a suggestion for her video and Iris senses she’s stalling.  Liz confesses she wants to live, Douglas wants to have a relationship with her, and she hopes might even be a grandmother one day.  Iris is upset at her change of heart.  Liz thinks they’ve suffered enough and should rule the hotel, turning it into “Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.”  It seems she may have convinced her depressed vampire friend.

Alex leads John to the “children’s room” she warns him if he enters, there is no going back. John goes in and embraces his son exclaiming, “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that!”  His son replies simply, “Five years.” John remarks his son looks exactly the same.  Alex assures him that he’ll stay that way. The family walks down the hall, to the lobby.  As they are about to exit, Sally screams down at John, “I’m going to kill you!”  Probably an idle threat if John can stay away from the Hotel Cortez.

Donavon is grooving and doing the Drake dance to “Hotline Bling.” (Better then the original.) The Countess enters crying, surprised that he hasn’t run away.  The Countess recounts how she spent nearly a century looking for Valentino, fearing he had abandoned her.  Donavon knew how much he meant to her and that’s why he killed her maker. He now fully expects to die at the hands of the Countess. He gets on his knees and declares his love for her.  She looks down at him and says, “What a beautiful thing I’ve made.”  Iris and Liz disrupt the tragic couple as they enter the penthouse with guns in each hand shooting to kill their oppressors. The episode ends, the result is unclear.

The final episodes will air in January.  Maybe by then I can recover from Lady Gaga’s tiresome overacting.  Most of the storylines have peaked, but I have a feeling we’ll have to see John murder a few more people.  Ramona probably doesn’t have a place in the “Best Exotic Cortez Hotel”  unless hipsters check in.  Even Ms. Evers won’t be as crazed now she has Oxyclean and a modern washing machine.  Hopefully the final episodes will return to some of the suspense and camp which made the beginning of the season more enjoyable.