AHS Hotel, Episode 10, She Gets Revenge

The last installment of AHS this year is the continuation of the Countess’s revenge. Will Drake is dead and Ramona lingers trapped on the un-escapable floor.  What will become of Donavon, now that Valentino has been found?  Why have an imitation instead of the original?  But will Valentino still love the Countess after learning of the savage vampire she has become?

The episode opens in reception with Liz narrating.  She’s sees her job as providing secrecy for all matters of taboos; couples doing drugs, a place for hidden trysts and a place to end it all.  An elderly couple checks in to celebrate their sixth wedding anniversary.  As Liz shows them the room she knows they are there to commit suicide together.  Moments after some champagne, they shot each other in the head. Liz enters the room followed by Iris.  “Have you ever seen something so beautiful?” Iris looks at the scene more pragmatically, the room will take hours to clean.  Liz breaks down and confesses she’s lost the will to live since Tristan was murdered. She grabs one of the guns and places it on her temple.  Iris begs her not to kill herself, at least not in the hotel where she would be doomed to dwell forever.  Iris expresses her fatigue with life, despite her new immortality.  Liz and Iris make a pack to end their lives together as soon as they get their affairs in order.

Ms. Evers assists Liz with calling her son to invite him to Los Angles to stay at the Hotel for a week.  Once off the phone, she asks Liz how long it’s been since she’s seen her son. Liz confesses its been thirty one years, but she’s sent money.  Ms. Evers thinks its folly to expect him to accept Liz.  “In my day, fairies knew better then to father children!” (She doesn’t understand transgender people but she is from a hundred years ago!)  To stop her tirade, Liz gives her some Oxyclean, and she’s “As happy as Christmas morning!”

John looks at the trophy room with Sally peering over his shoulder. “You’re a marvel John Lowe!”  Ears are pinned for the sin of worshiping false idols.  John recalls the murders of some pagan worshippers.  He introduced himself to them as “Death” and murdered about three people.  Back in the secret room, Sally tells him, “One more and you’ll be free.”

A record starts, Donavon sets out into the California sunshine at the run down motel where Valentino is staying.  The Countess greets Natacha at her penthouse. Donavon confronts the silver screen star.  Valentino sees Donavon as a “pretty boy” past his prime.  The Countess and Natacha taunt one another, and she calls the Countess a mere fan and “little mouse.”  The men’s conversation turns violent, Valentino takes out a sword, much to Donavon’s amusement.  Donavon shoots the vampire actor in the face, killing him.  The Countess shoots her rival, asking the new corpse, “Who’s the little mouse now!”  Donavon relishes his rival’s ruined face and tastes his blood adding, “I have better cheekbones, that go on for days!” (What the Countess said to him as she turned Donavon into a vampire.)

Mr. March has tied up his contractor and is wearing a fearsome leather mask.  The man apologizes for the delay in construction but of course March is not swayed.  He turns on a gas line and lights the man on fire.  As he inspects the burned corpse, John enters, begging March for information about Alex’s whereabouts.  March has new ideas for them for after the Ten Commandment murders. March thinks worrying about his wife will only distract John from their work together.  Finally, March gives in and arranges a meeting.

John waits for Alex in March’s dining room as Ms. Evers twitters about babbling about tea and arguing on an empty stomach.  Alex appears as a perfect Victorian widow.  She admits to John she lied about Holden because she wanted him for herself.  They both agree they’ve abandoned Scarlett and are bad parents. (Understatement of the year!)  The Countess has learned about the pack of vampires Alex unknowingly created by saving Max from the measles.  Alex says the Countess has threatened to kill her and Holden unless she can fix this problem.  John offers to help, he’ll do anything for Holden. 

Liz taps her fingers nervously at the bar.  Ms. Evers assures her things will be fine and her son is coming down to the bar presently.  The two strike up an easy conversation, the son even complements her dress.  As the drinks flow, he confesses his father has been on his mind and he’s in town to reunite with him.  Faced with a perfect opening, Liz demurs on revealing herself to him.  However, she seems satisfied by the time they’ve just shared.

John and Alex head to the mansion where the vampire kids had been living.  As they make their way through the darkened house, Alex hears coughing.  She finds a girl  on the floor, ill and coughing.  As Alex goes to help her, Max and the others emerge to threaten her.  John threatens to shoot the kids but then the ill girl’s condition worsens.  Alex performs CPR on the girl but cannot save her. (Do these vampires have beating hearts? I’m so confused!)  Max is upset at the girl’s death.  Alex explains “It’s too late for Kimmy.”  John adds, “It doesn’t have to be too late for the rest of you!”

The Countess had guests, police are there to take her missing person report on her husband Will Drake.  The Countess is wearing a dull pantsuit and pearls and speaks in a most affected manner.  The male detective suggests the groom got “cold feet” after the ceremony.  Suddenly, Drake appears stating he was simply lost in the hotel’s new construction area for TWO DAYS.  The Countess escorts the police out, “Nice to have a happy ending without all the tugging and pushing!” (Meow!)  Drake is upset she murdered him and deduces that was her plan all along.  He reminds her she is not in the will, his son should inherit his empire.  The Countess threatens to make Laclan “One of her own blood.”  Drake has figured out she’s a vampire and she observes he’s smarter dead then he was in life.  As Drake leaves enraged, March pops up to say, “I told you would regret killing him at the hotel!”

Alex and John usher the kids to through the hotel lobby.  They take an elevator to the dark, seemingly empty floor.  The murderous gaggle seems scared for the first time. Alex assures them she’ll be right back with something or someone to eat.  The kids reluctantly file inside.  The last kid has to be pushed by John who moves to quickly shut a steel door behind him.  The kids yell and blame Max for trusting Alex.  The kids see corpse on the floor.  Ramona appears saying, “I smell appetizers!” (She maybe vicious and powerful but she is outnumbered. Some kids still appear to be fighting the measles, could they infect her? Do we even care at this point?)

Alex and John are naked and alone in his room.  Alex isn’t sure if she trusts her rekindled feelings for her soon to be ex-husband.  She senses something different in him, stating he seems “more whole.”  She leaves him to go check on the children.  Out of the shadows, Sally emerges.  She is jealous of Alex and implores John to stay with her because his wife would never accept him if she knew he was a serial killer.  They argue and make violent passes at one another.  John likens Sally to an “addict’s high” a fleeting pleasure.  As he dresses to leave, Sally becomes more desperate, they choke each other and she brings out a knife.  She tells him Alex abandoned him while she’s been at his side since Holden’s disappearance.  On the floor, crying, Sally tells John she might kill Alex.  He leaves her.

Liz and Iris present Ms. Evers with a modern washer and dryer.  The old maid is ecstatic! It is a thank you for her help with reuniting Liz with her son.  Iris and Liz walk down the hall, contemplating their method of suicide.  Ms. Evers calls out that Douglas is waiting for Liz at the bar.  Liz rushes down to share a drink with him. He reveals he knows Liz is his father. She is touched, “How could I have raised a son with such compassion?”  Douglas points out that his mother raised him because he abandoned them.  Still, he accepts Liz saying simply, “I have room for another woman in my life.”

Donavon serves the Countess some red meat. (These vampires eat?)  He says he’s surprised she is not still on her honeymoon in Paris, murdering her husband and dumping his body in the Seine.  She confesses she killed him after he insulted her child by feeding him to Ramona.  Donavon mocks sadness at not being able to “hate watch” this event with her.  He brings up her “boyfriend” asking if he’s texted her lately.  He then laughs saying she can forget about “Facetime” with him.  The Countess leaves to Valentino’s motel room.  She finds his  bullet-ridden corpse, concealed blood all around his head.  What will Donavon’s punishment be?

Iris is working on a laptop as Liz strolls in her room.  She says she’s finally finished her memorial video, and she shows Liz.  It contains pictures of rainbows and tulip fields with the song, “I Hope You Dance.” By Lee Ann Womack.  Liz looks at the bed where Iris has assembled guns, ropes and other implements of self-destruction.  Liz has a suggestion for her video and Iris senses she’s stalling.  Liz confesses she wants to live, Douglas wants to have a relationship with her, and she hopes might even be a grandmother one day.  Iris is upset at her change of heart.  Liz thinks they’ve suffered enough and should rule the hotel, turning it into “Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.”  It seems she may have convinced her depressed vampire friend.

Alex leads John to the “children’s room” she warns him if he enters, there is no going back. John goes in and embraces his son exclaiming, “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that!”  His son replies simply, “Five years.” John remarks his son looks exactly the same.  Alex assures him that he’ll stay that way. The family walks down the hall, to the lobby.  As they are about to exit, Sally screams down at John, “I’m going to kill you!”  Probably an idle threat if John can stay away from the Hotel Cortez.

Donavon is grooving and doing the Drake dance to “Hotline Bling.” (Better then the original.) The Countess enters crying, surprised that he hasn’t run away.  The Countess recounts how she spent nearly a century looking for Valentino, fearing he had abandoned her.  Donavon knew how much he meant to her and that’s why he killed her maker. He now fully expects to die at the hands of the Countess. He gets on his knees and declares his love for her.  She looks down at him and says, “What a beautiful thing I’ve made.”  Iris and Liz disrupt the tragic couple as they enter the penthouse with guns in each hand shooting to kill their oppressors. The episode ends, the result is unclear.

The final episodes will air in January.  Maybe by then I can recover from Lady Gaga’s tiresome overacting.  Most of the storylines have peaked, but I have a feeling we’ll have to see John murder a few more people.  Ramona probably doesn’t have a place in the “Best Exotic Cortez Hotel”  unless hipsters check in.  Even Ms. Evers won’t be as crazed now she has Oxyclean and a modern washing machine.  Hopefully the final episodes will return to some of the suspense and camp which made the beginning of the season more enjoyable.

Fargo, Season 2 Finale, Palindrome

A palindrome is a word or phrase that is the same forwards as backwards. Things have come full circle.  What began with senseless murders at a diner ended with countless murders at a motel.  What began with Rye’s immature actions to prove his place in the family ended with Hanzee’s rejection of that same family.  War and its scars were a reoccurring theme.  The “War of ‘79” has undoubtedly left scars on those who survived.  The earth is scorched, ready for a new crop to grow recalling the saying, “Barn’s burned down, now I can see the moon.”

The episode opens with a family album of dead Gearhardts: Otto, Rye, Simone, Dodd, Floyd and Bear.  Betsy sleeps with her daughter Molly.  As she awakens Noreen fills her in on what happened.  Noreen explains she spoke to the doctor who theorized she was having a bad reaction to the experimental chemotherapy. (It seems she was receiving the real medication after all.)  Noreen bluntly adds the medication may kill her faster then the cancer.  Betsy seems unsurprised by this information and anxiously asks about Lou and her father.  Noreen hasn’t heard from either man but encourages Betsy to sleep. Betsy dreams of the future, she sees new surprising technology and huge warehouse stores.  She sees Molly grow up, graduate from high school, then become a mother herself. But she also dreams of frightening things, she sees the chaos of Hanzee’s killing spree including the carnage at the motel.

Her dream fades into the moment between Hank and Lou in the motel in which Hank urges Lou to go on to pursue Hanzee.  (Black Sabbath’s “Pigs of War” plays in the background.) As Lou emerges from the room he sees the bodies of the Dakota cops laying dead where they fell, some men in their boxers and t-shirts.  In the chaos, Peggy and Ed run down an alley and attempt to carjack a station wagon.  Hanzee is in pursuit, he kills the innocent car owner and one of his bullets finds Ed. Lou follows the couple and Hanzee a few seconds later.

Mike and Gale arrive at the darkened Gearhardt estate.  Mike walks through the open door proclaiming, “People of the earth, I’m home!”  He takes his time looking around the living room.  A banner hangs with a Deutch eagle bearing the letter “G.” He sees an old fashioned picture of an infant, resembling a “momenta morti” which he turns it over.

Peggy helps her husband walk as they near a supermarket.  She warns the sole employee to leave, “Get out of here! There’s a bad man coming!”  The pair limps through the store.  Outside, Lou follows Hanzee and comes upon Ben who is badly shaken but unhurt.  Inside, Ed enters the meat freezer.  Lou yells at Ben for letting the Blumquists escape.  Ben mumbles something about Peggy tricking him and acknowledges things are completely FUBAR. (A military term for F@cked Up Beyond All Recognition)

The Blumquists lock themselves in the meat locker.  Butchered cows and pigs hang on hooks.  Peggy examines Ed’s wound, he’s bleeding profusely from his upper chest wound.  He says, “I don’t think we’ll make it, you and me.” Peggy vigorously disagrees, “Adversity seals the bond!”  Ed says she’s always trying to fix everything and sometimes nothing is broken.  All Ed wants is the life he had before Peggy hit Rye Gearhardt. (The lyrics in the background sing about a “bed of roses”) Hanzee enters the empty store with his weapon drawn.

Mike is surprised to find an old woman cooking in the Gearhardt kitchen. Gale raises his weapon to kill her and Mike advises him to “Be reasonable.” Mike tastes the woman’s cooking. He declares, “No more strudel or schnitzel! From now on let’s have American food!” They hear a car approach.  Ricky knocks once at the door then enters the house. “Everyone’s dead!”  He says out loud then proceeds to loot the silver. Mike and Gale interrupt his activities.  Ricky explains, “I didn’t think anyone was here!”

Mike asks, “Do you know the definition of sovereignty?” Ricky wasn’t prepared for this test. Mike continues, “Sovereignty is having the power and authority.” Ricky replies, “Like a king? This is America, we don’t have kings!” Mike disagrees, stating this is his coronation day, and it is traditional to offer an act of kindness and one of cruelty to assert power. Sparing the cook was Mike’s act of kindness so Ricky is out of luck. Ricky sighs, “The story of my life!”  Gale shoots him with a shotgun leaving a gaping hole in his chest.  Mike turns to Gale and says, “I’m bushed, and you should get some rest too.  Maybe they’ll throw us a parade!”

Hanzee nears the back of the store near the freezer.  Peggy is terrified when she hears the door handle move.  Smoke begins to fill the freezer from the ventilation system.  Peggy excitedly tells Ed, “It’s just like the movie I was watching.  A couple in France was on the run, just like us.  Her husband was hurt, shot and they were hiding out.  A Nazi was after them, trying to smoke them out. But they got out, they were saved!” (Referencing the movie “Operation Eagle’s Nest the fictional movie starring Ronald Reagan.)  Peggy goes to Ed, but Ed has died.  The door rattles again, steeling herself for a fight, Peggy grabs the icepick, which was holding the door locked and opens the door to lunge at the man behind it.  But it’s not Hanzee but Lou and Ben.  Lou holds her arm.  Peggy tells Lou Hanzee was “smoking them out, just like the movie!”  Lou explains there is no smoke and Hanzee is long gone.  Ben goes to Ed confirming he’s dead.  Peggy screams hysterically.

It’s dawn when Lou and Ben part ways.  They learn Hank is in the ICU and there is a massive manhunt underway for Hanzee.  Ben asks Lou how in the world is he going to recount the events of that night.  Lou tells him just start from the beginning and assures him he’ll be okay.  Lou plans to drive Peggy home in his cruiser.  The men part ways.

At the Solverson house, Betsy wakes up and again asks Noreen if she’s heard from Lou or her father.  The girl reports they are not back yet. Noreen asks Betsy if she can feel her cancer.  Noreen’s aunt had breast cancer and described it to her as “a hot poker through her bosom.”  Betsy denies having pain but likens the feeling to a peach with one side, which looks perfect, and the other side has grown moldy. Noreen quotes Camus, “Knowing we will die makes life a ridiculous.”  Betsy scoffs at the French philosopher, her truth is one has the time on the earth that has been destined by God and she’s unafraid to die.

Peggy is talkative on her drive with Lou.  She wonders if her case will be a federal one, and if so if she could serve her time in California!  She’s heard of a prison there, north of San Francisco and thinks it would be nice to see a pelican. (Referring to San Quentin, an all male prison that holds Charles Manson and other notorious criminals on Death Row. I used to live several miles from it; it sits on some of the most valuable real estate in the country.)  Lou tells her a story.  In the final days of the Vietnam War, the U.S. was trying to evacuate their troops and their allies, the South Vietnamese.  A US Navy frigate, the USS Kirk was receiving incoming helicopters, then pushing them into the ocean because it had no place to store them onboard.  A larger Chinook helicopter was trying to land.  The pilot had his entire family on board and was running out of fuel.  The family began to jump from the chopper, and dropped their baby, which was fortunately caught by a serviceman unharmed.  They were wondering how the pilot was going to escape, he maneuvered the chopper over the water, and jumped out, thousand of pounds of helicopter falling near him. The man lived miraculously. (This is a true story, look up USS Kirk for details.)

Peggy asks what’s the point of his story.  Lou states he knew Ed was going to do whatever he had to in order to protect his family. (Like the helicopter pilot in the story.)  He says he understands that now. Peggy said she never meant any of this to happen.  Her sanity slips off into another rant about how “I had to be my own me! Why did that guy have to walk out?” (Rye)  Lou is incredulous, “You’re the victim?” Peggy insists she is victim, and women are under so much pressure to do it all, Lou has no idea.  Lou responds simply, “People are dead.”

With “California Dreaming” playing in the background, Lou and Peggy near the South Dakota/Minnesota border.  Lou gets out to attempt another call home from the pay phone.  This time he gets through to Noreen and hears of Betsy’s fall and adverse reaction to her chemotherapy. “Your missus is fine.”  Noreen assures him. Lou is emotional, he tells her Hank was injured and he’s on his way back home from Sioux Falls.  He thanks Noreen and returns for his journey home.

Hanzee sits on a bleacher watching two boys play catch.  A man approaches him saying, “Great empires fall and are forgotten.” He hands Hanzee an envelope with documents including a Social Security card with the last name “Tripoli.”  The man tells him the name was chosen intentionally, many different empires conquered Tripoli, Libya before it became independent.  Hanzee tells the man he needs a “face man” to change his appearance and begin his new life.  The man advises him to “Be like a phoenix.”  Hanzee says, “Maybe I’ll start an empire of my own.”  On the ball field, older boys have come to pick a fight with the original pair.  The man asks if Hanzee will seek revenge on Kansas City.  Hanzee states he wants them dead. (The implication is the man doesn’t know Hanzee turned on the Gearhardt clan. He may have been a Gearhardt ally.)

Mike is shown around the Kansas City headquarters by the boss who had ordered him killed.  The man congratulates Mike, he is to oversee the new Fargo branch of the operation.  However, Mike will be working in an office, business hours. The boss tells him he’ll be working closely with the accounting department.  The boss advises him to change his wardrobe and cut his hair, “It’s not the 1970’s anymore.”  The boss drones on about streamlining their operations, much the same as any conventional business.  He suggests Mike take up golf!  It’s clear this isn’t what Mike had in mind for his promotion. He’s been a man of reason and action. He’s shown to a small desk with a typewriter and a phone.  This scene brought to my mind the end of the Shield when the mighty Vic Mackey ended his career at a desk.  Mike probably will move on in a week.

Lou welcomes Hank for a family dinner.  Hank is healing and able to share a beer with Lou.  Noreen is now part of the family, helping with housework and Molly’s care.  Lou asks his father-in-law if his report is going to mention the aliens.  The men laugh.  Hank shares Hanzee is now on the FBI’s ten most wanted list making it the highest profile case he’s worked. Betsy looks ill next to Lou.  Hank is just happy to be alive, “You’ll know the angels when they come for you because they’ll have the faces of your children.”

Betsy tells her father she saw his mysterious office when she fed his cats while he was in the hospital.  Hank explains after the war and his wife died he had given a lot of thought to the miscommunication between people.  He had the idea of creating a new language using symbols and the idea became an obsession.  Betsy stares at her father, “You’re a good man.”  Hank demurs from the complement, “I’ve got good intentions.”  An understanding of love passes between them.

Lou tucks in his daughter and suggests they go fishing the next day.  The final scene finds Lou and Betsy together in bed bathed in moonlight.  She whispers, “Goodnight.”  Lou replies, “Goodnight moonlight, and all the ships at sea.”

What an amazing ten hours of television.  There is nothing as mysterious as the human creature.  We love, we fight, we die and yet we believe in beauty and mystery of love and something beyond.  Kirsten Dunst was nominated for a Golden Globe for her role as Peggy.  I hope others will also be recognized for their incredible work this season.  The door seems ajar to continue another story, maybe following Mike and Hanzee through the eighties and beyond. (Please!) Its rare a television series can make you think about anything, let alone the “big questions” regarding love and life. This series did so without seeming preachy or corny, just pleasantly eccentric as the fine folks from up north. Bravo!

AHS Hotel Episode 9, She Wants Revenge

Apologies for the tardiness of this recap, it directly corresponds for my fatigue with the macabre subject matter, which is AHS.  Even at its best, in these dark times its just a bit too damn depressing.

The episode opens with the Countess, reminiscing of her past hundred years of loves and pain.  Especially painful is how March managed to rip her away from the Sheik and Natasha.  She enters the lobby to discuss her upcoming nuptials with Will Drake. He envisions an “event of the season” while the Countess wants to keep it simple. (Since she plans to murder him the next day.) They part ways, the plans unresolved.  The Countess orders Liz to order her some flowers for the big day. Liz is still enraged about her coldblooded murder of Tristan.  The Countess tries to pour salt in her wound by saying Tristan never loved her.  Liz claims she didn’t know him, and she will not be helping her order flowers or anything else.

The Countess resumes her voice over narration on how she has been wronged by those she’s “helped so much.” Alex brings her a glass of blood.  On the news, there is a report of a homeless man found with his blood drained; a group of children might have been witnesses. (Finally, the troupe of vampire children from Halloween resumes.) A call comes in from a private investigator; he’s tracked down Valentino to a seedy motel.  After another costume change, the Countess pays a visit to her former lover. He accepts her with open arms. They go inside his room for some sexy time.

A quick exterior of the Hotel Cortez is shown.  The Countess is having relations, but not with Valentino but her former lover Donovan.  Donovan begs her to not love anyone else but him. (They can have other lovers however.) She agrees, but reminds him she’s getting married on Wednesday, but “I’ll be a widow by Thursday.” This is agreeable to Donavon, as is her plan to clean up the hotel. He asks only, “Who shall we kill first?”

It’s Iris’s turn to do a voice over.  She explains her disgust for modern pornography when “Storm Cock” and two adult actors check-in.  She confesses becoming immortal has turned her into a “Dirty Harriet.”  She knocks on the door where Storm Cock is shooting his film.  She kills him, then the female actress as the man runs and hides in the bathroom.  Iris feels she’s becoming someone Donavon would be proud of.  On cue, Donavon appears noting the door is ajar.  He looks at his mother, using an ice bucket to catch the female’s blood and he is impressed.  Iris is worried; the Countess woke her up in the night after Bartholemew went missing.  She suspected Donavon or Iris.  Iris told her it was Ramona who freed her baby.  Donavon explains he has a master plan, part of which is to make the Countess think they are back together.  

A touching moment occurs in the penthouse between Will and his son Laclan.  He explains he is bisexual and the Countess is “the one.” Ms. Evers appears and puts a damper on his mood.  She asks him pointedly whether she should bring him a knife or a gun because clearly he wants to kill himself.  She assures him the Countess is “pure poison who will suck you dry.”  Will mentions he has a pre-nup, but Ms. Evers persists she will literally suck him dry.  She has a flashback to the time before Mr. March married the Countess and broke her heart.  Will fires her, and she leaves but says she will soon watch him die and have to scrub the blood and shit out of his fancy formal wear. Ouch!

Downstairs on the “March” floor the Countess instructs the contractor to change Will’s plans for the remodel.  The man is hesitant, especially without the permission of the owner.  The Countess assures it is to be a “wedding gift” to store Drake’s collection.  March appears with a few off the wall comments about the construction. He introduces himself as a “silent partner.” (Great euphemism for ghost!) The man leaves and the Countess aims her rage at March.  She wants him out of her life. “You’re still mad about that dago?”  She claims Valentino was her one true love as she walks away, ordering him to finish the construction by Wednesday.

Donovan knocks on Ramona’s door bearing a gift, a man tied up.  Ramona is unimpressed and thinks he lacks the will to complete their plan of revenge.  He tells her how he reunited with the Countess, only to realize he’s fallen for her all over again and he needs her help.  She applauds his candor, and they hook up the poor man to the dialysis machine and begin to drink his cleansed blood.  Donavon asks why it’s taken her so long to seek revenge on the Countess.  Ramona confides the details of her absence.  She sought comfort with her parents.  Her mother was ill with a lung ailment and her father was developing dementia.  After her mother passed, her father became worse.  One night, robbers broke into the house and killed the old man. In desperation, she gave him her blood. It revived him but his mind remained demented. He didn’t know what he was and she would bring him blood.  She came home to find he had killed two other would be robbers and decided it was time to end his suffering.  She drowned her father in the bathtub.  After leaving her parents house, she saw how the world had changed.  Her movies were streaming free on Hulu! (Did no one tell her about the monthly fee?) She was again recognized on the street. This helped her remember all the Countess had taken from her.  Donovan seems satisfied by her explanation. They toast, cementing their plan against the Countess.

Alex watches as a pizza is delivered to a mansion.  The deliveryman doesn’t come back and Alex enters the house.  She finds a pile of bodies and the group of vampire school kids.  She introduces herself to Max, reminding him he was her doctor and she used her blood to save his. “Cool.”  But then the kids go back to drinking the blood of the delivery guy. (Who looks a little like Justin Timberlake.)?  Maddy refuses to drink the blood, she’s tired of killing people.  The kids have killed their parents that is why “No one is looking for them.” (Don’t these children have any other family and wouldn’t somebody miss a dozen murdered adults? Silly me looking for plot holes in a show about vampires and ghosts.)  Max is the ringleader and orders Alex out.  Alex points out they will be looking for the delivery guy and have their address.  The kids decide to leave, telling Alex she can stay and explain the pile of bodies in the living room.  Kids these days have no respect.

Ramona is ready to make her move.  Donovan leads the way, telling her the Countess is drugged and asleep.  Ramona sneers she’s sorry the Countess won’t know who killed her and why.  She plans to stab her in the heart and cut off her head to make sure she “stays dead.”  But as Ramona hovers over the Countess, she gets tazed and carried away by Donavon to the room with the neon cages.  Iris sees him carrying Ramona and first thinks its part of the larger plan.  Donavon reveals he loves the Countess and they are going to take down all her enemies.  Iris is frantic, she tells her son the Countess only cares about herself and he will be hurt all over again. Ramona comes to in the cage and adds, “Listen to your mother.”  Cameras have been set up in the cage room for the Countess’s enjoyment of her enemies suffering.

The Countess returns to Valentino at the seedy motel.  He is upset by the changes in the world but his lady Natacha is out enjoying credit cards and Uber.  The Countess expresses her desire to be rid of Natacha so she can have him all to herself.  She assures him she will be fantastically rich in a few days and together they can create the Hotel to be an alternative to the modern world.  Natacha returns from her shopping, noting they now have a store called “Valentino’s.”  She is repulsed by the notion of returning to the Hotel Cortez, having been imprisoned there for so many decades.  The Countess assures her March is dead.  The women plan some private time, which will likely be the end of Natacha.

The actually wedding ceremony is skipped, but the Countess appears in her exquisite gown, which her groom designed.  She coos she needs to go upstairs to change into her “travelling” clothes.  On her way upstairs, she hands her bouquet to Liz, wishing her the gift of true love despite having murdered Tristan.  Will heads to the bar to help himself to a beverage.  Mr. March appears and the men toast the bride. (Little does he know they share!)? Mr. March applauds Will for being so “progressive” undertaking the blending of their families.  Will states the Countess adores his son, but Mr. March has a surprise for him, the Countess also has a son. He brings will to the infant’s room and Will is mortally terrified of the creature in the black bassinet.  The Countess emerges and chides him for saying such hateful things; she had planned on killing him in Paris but now will make his death slow and painful.  Drake is shut in to the area where Ramona is held.

Will looks up at her, confused and angry. Ramona explains to him this isn’t a dream and pleads with him to release her from her cage.  Once free, the two wander the halls to discover they are trapped and no one can hear them scream. Will panics, knowing they will starve.  Ramona strikes at him, declaring, and “I won’t!” and opens his neck to feed. Ms. Evers appears and looks down smiling at her former employer, just as she had promised earlier in the episode.  Upstairs, the Countess watches the action via her closed circuit cameras, revealing in the pain of her enemies.

This episode had more costume changes then a Cher concert.  I think Lady Gaga may wear her own clothes or at least have a hand in their selection.  This installment was more about style then substance.  While I enjoy the campy antics of Mr. March and Ms. Evers, this season has been truly horrific in terms of murder and torture.  Given the state of the world, its been harder for me to enjoy it knowing torture and murders like these occur.  Maybe vampires don’t exist, but the greedy and hateful nature of humans is much like the fictional vampire.  At least in the real world, hate and despair isn’t immortal.