Return to Downton, I guess

*Note, this is not a recap, more of a reflection with questions.

Season 5 of Downton Abbey is hardly news, and I am behind already due to my lukewarm feelings about season 4. I wasn’t offended by the rape plot and felt like it was one of the more realistic stories of the series. But then, they had to ruin it with highly convoluted story of revenge. So in the end, it was yet another plot ploy to drive a wedge between beloved characters. Two things an English drama cannot have; requited love or happy endings!

A little background on my television history, I grew up in a house that worshiped  Masterpiece Theater. Hell, my name comes from the Forsyth Saga. (Which was remade in the 00’s with Damien Lewis as my dad, yeah!) I lived for the dramas of Alastair Cook on Sunday nights. It also gave me reoccurring nightmares of my own beheading by guillotine, but I digress.

Downton succeeds outside the PBS world, because it is a daytime soap with the thin veneer of class and better acting. Okay, world class acting, but it’s still only as good as the imagination of the writer Julien Fellows. The backdrop remains the sad decline of the upper class in England. The horror that these people will one day will have to make their own tea and dress themselves. 

The season 5 premiere revisited established characters. Edith is a sad sack! Barrow is up to something! Oh, Mosley, please give it up already! All this while we are supposed to root for cold fish Mary, and the suitors who will wait YEARS to get with her pale butt. Is it just me, or has she had her virginity returned to her upon becoming a widow? Was it so scandalous to think that a MOTHER might not be a virgin! I feel like she is a prequel to Bristol Palin and her re-patriated virginity nonsense.

The children of Mary and Sybil make a brief appearance in the episode. Poor Edith has to visit her secret daughter on the farm. Why does she seem much more interested in loving her child then her sister? And, why is her daughter seemingly older then the two legitimate children. I love Isis. (The dog, not to be confused with the political organization.) She’s the best thing about Lord Grantham most of the time. But, wouldn’t the old girl be chasing foxes in the sky by now?  (The series started in ’12 now it’s 1924.)

I love the Dowager, but even her quips are becoming a little blunted. Her main focus this hour was to make sure the Lady Crawley doesn't ever best her in wealth, or station by marrying up with Lord Menton. Snore! Branson continues to remain neutered by the Crawley’s, even as the local school teacher tries to liven up the Grantham’s anniversary party. She’s no Sybil in looks, smarts or class. She needs to move on, or sleep with Baxter to give this series a lesbian love story.

New season, same dance! Sex between Lady and Footman! Barrow scheming to get himself ahead. A maid with a scandalous past! Lord Grantham stomping around because he is no longer the LORD of all Downton.  And, poor Mosley tried to improve himself and everybody laughs. I really think he needs to start spitting in their tea.

Will I continue to watch and rant? Somebody has to. So, pardon my snarkasm!