AHS Hotel, episode 7, Flicker

This has been one of the more cohesive seasons of American Horror Story.  The themes are varied but unified under a central character, The Countess.  Tonight, we probe deeper into her backstory while in the present, John struggles with his sanity and new characters emerge from the dark corners of the Cortez.

The episode opens with workers wielding sledgehammers in the effort to remodel the Hotel.  Drake and his son survey the work and discuss their future plans.  Drake tells Lachlan he’s considering marrying the Countess.  Lachlan is puzzled, “I thought you liked men?”  Drake shrugs and tells his son adult relationships can be complicated.  The construction crew has found an anomaly with an entire wall reinforced with an inch of steel. Drake asks them to tear it down.  When the workers break through one man complains it seems horrible, like death.  A shadow passes down the hallway. The men find rat carcasses.  Decomposing vampires rush to the men and bite at their necks, killing them.  The couple is dressed in twenties attire and their eyes are pale like zombies.  They complain the men taste not much better then the rats they’ve been surviving on. (Too much McDonald’s in the men’s diet?)

John is under bright lights answering questions posed by a psychiatrist in a mental hospital. Alex speaks with him after the exam, explaining she could help him be admitted to a much nicer facility.  But John wants to stay, he sees the bleak setting as deserves. In another interview, John tells the doctor about problems with work and the stress he was under trying to solve the “Ten Commandment” murders.  John explains his “rock bottom” moment was when he got into a physical altercation with his only ally, Detective Hahn.  At that moment, John realized he needed help.

Iris reports to the Countess that Drake is busy attending to his grooming needs. (Um, I’ll spare repeating the details!)  Iris shows the Countess the bodies of construction workers and she seems genuinely perplexed.  She wonders if Alex might have killed the men but dismisses the idea. “Whoever did this was starving.” The Countess theorizes.  Iris is concerned, “I’ve never seen you scared before!” Despite Iris and Donavon’s plan to seek revenge on the Countess, it’s obvious Iris still can’t help respecting her boss’s ruthless savvy in dealing with both the living and the dead.

The real estate agent who brokered the Hotel sale is staying the night.  She boasts about her less then honest deals with a friend on the phone.  She answers the door, which she assumes is room service.  She is attacked by the twenties era vampires.

Flashback to Los Angles, 1925.  Actresses are gossiping on the set of a silent movie starring Rudolph Valentino.  Valentino takes notice of one actress, a young Countess and slips her a note with his address.  She arrives at his opulent mansion and Valentino kisses her hello.  They begin to share a romantic dinner; he is impressed she can understand his Italian.  The Countess shares she is the child of immigrants from Sicily and moved to L.A. to follow her dreams of being an actress.  Valentino says he sees greater things for her then simply acting.  The Countess compares acting to “being immortal” and states movies will become the great American art form.  Valentino puts on a record and they begin to dance a passionate tango only to be interrupted by a woman descending the grand stairway.  Valentino introduces her to his wife Natasha.  The Countess is hurt and confused, “I don’t understand!” Natasha says enigmatically, “The gods have appetites!”  The three of them dance a three-person tango, which leads to a three-person horizontal mambo!

(These events maybe loosely based on Valentino’s real complicated love life.  His first wife was a lesbian and he was married to a Natasha with whom he had a very public divorce. As one of film’s first stars, Valentino seemed to have also suffered from the first wave of paparazzi’s.)

Several months later, the Countess and an actress friend go to the grand opening of the Hotel Cortez.  Her friend has noticed she doesn’t go out as often and the Countess coyly reports she’s seeing somebody. (Or somebodies, including Natasha.) Despite Prohibition, the champagne flows.  The news arrives that Valentino is dead. The Countess is mad with grief and rushes to jump out a window.  March comes up behind her and prevents her from jumping and dries her tears.  He is smitten, he looks at her deeply and confesses, and “I may never let you go!”

At the Hollywood mausoleum, several actresses go to see Valentino’s final resting place. (I’ve been there, its still a tourist attraction.)  The women speak of the “Lady in Black” who has been said to have visited the grave daily for months leaving one red rose.  The women theorize about the mystery women, wondering if she is human or something else.  They see her approaching and flee in fear.  It is the Countess in a long black lace veil.  Natasha appears and delivers the shocking news that Valentino is not dead.  Valentino himself comes out of the shadows to greet her.  He tells her his stunt double died but he himself has been reborn.

The Countess explains to her former lovers how she met and married Patrick March. She says she was drawn to his darkness.  One night the Countess surprised him while he was dismembering a man in the zinc bathtub.  Instead of being horrified, she offered March some advice, kill rich people and rob from them.  Valentino listens to her story with pity, “You’ve suffered.”

Valentino offers a story of his own.  While he was doing the publicity tour for “Son of the Sheik” he met a mysterious man on the train who seemed to follow him across the country.  Valentino thought he saw the man do “unspeakable things” like feed on humans.  Finally, the man introduced himself as the famous German director F.W. Murnau.  Murnau explains while he was shooting the movie Nosferatu, he traveled deep into Eastern Europe and discovered a secret group of people.  “They were infected by an ancient virus which gave them eternal youth and vitality.”  The director saw the coming of “talkies” as the death of his career and the movies.  Murnau decided to join the vampires; he was ready to “die forever into immortality.”  He offers to give “the dark gift” and make Valentino a vampire. (The real F.W. Murnau died in a car accident in Santa Barbara in 1931, at age forty-two. He is considered the best director of the silent film era.)  Valentino brought the “gift” to Natasha and now he offers it to the Countess.  She accepts the offer from her lovers.  March observes the scene from afar but senses his wife’s betrayal.

At the mental facility, a guard is flirting with a nurse about a dangerous patient, the lead suspect in the “Ten Commandment” murders.  John waits nearby.  Once the guard is alone, John hits him to gain access to the locked ward.  Checking the list of patients, John recognizes the name of his friend Hahn and assumes they are holding the suspect under this alias.  Inside the room is a young blonde girl dressed in black, “I’m Wren.”

John observes the stark room.  The girl hasn’t eaten her dinner.  She says, “I’m not hungry for that!”  John tries to question her about the murders and what she witnessed.  Wren reports she has been present at each crime scene and she killed the security guard at the church. (Which would explain why one man was ceremoniously displayed and the security guard simply had his throat cut.)  John tells Wren it’s not her fault.  He sees his daughter Scarlett in Wren and they do resemble each other physically and emotionally.

Wren speaks about her mortal life.  It was the late eighties and she was terrified of her father who would tell her, “I can’t wait for you to grow up!”  One day he went drinking at the Hotel Cortez and left the girl in the hot car.  Dying of heat exhaustion, Wren was almost happy she’d soon be dead, forever safe from her creepy father.  But, the Countess appears and shatters the car’s window and took her in. She becomes one of the undead children.  John pleads with Wren to help him find the murderer.  Wren bargains, she’ll tell John if he can get her out of the hospital.  John hesitates, and then agrees. John is insatiable in his quest to find the serial killer, believing it will restore his life and sanity.

Back at the Hotel, Valentino and Natasha are finally recognizable as the hungry vampires.  They bemoan their ruined appearance brought on by decades of starvation.  Natasha blames the Countess and Mr. March for their imprisonment. Valentino begs for her forgiveness.  The pair spies a group of three Aussies checking into a nearby room. (Looking like extras from the Vegas show “Thunder From Down Under”) The hungry vampires salivate, “Who are we to deny a gift from the gods?”

Mr. March waits anxiously for his monthly dinner with the Countess.  Ms. Evers scurries around complaining about his wife’s tardiness, obviously jealous of not being the recipient of March’s affections.  The Countess finally appears in another stunning gown of black sequins. (Lady Gaga must have had a field day selecting costumes for her character or perhaps they are from her own closet!)  The Countess informs March she plans to marry Will Drake.  March is hurt and appalled.  The Countess replies they’ve always been honest with each other and he knows she never loved him.  However, March had hoped, “I could make you love me, but I couldn’t compete with a god.” (Valentino)

Flashback to the twenties, March decided to seal Natasha and Valentino away on his mysterious floor.  The couple realizes they’re trapped and scream at the brick walls, which entomb them.  March smiles on the other side of the wall.  The Countess is horrified; she never knew what had become of her lovers.  March smiles, “That’s what was back there!”  Maybe she had heard the noises and screams from the trapped couple.  March tells her they are gone now.  The revitalized couple walks triumphantly out the hotel lobby.  Nothing like Aussie stripper blood, better then Botox!

John and Wren have managed to escape.  They walk down the darkened street and Wren says she wants to go home, back to the Hotel Cortez.  Wren asks if John will kill the Ten Commandment murderer.  John assures her he will.  Wren smiles, “I knew I liked you!”  With his assurance, Wren runs out into the street and is killed by a bus!  The final credits roll.

Next week there is no new episode due to the holiday.  Even with more cohesion, the series still has more craters then the moon.  Where is the army of vampire children who Max made on Halloween?  How can vampires be immortal but still die so easily, just not due to disease? How is John going to find the serial killer without Wren’s help?  How did John magically escape through layers of locked doors at the psych hospital or is he hallucinating again?  Where are Sally and her addiction monster? Why must we wait to see Matt Bomer for weeks on end, not fair!  If Valentino was the Countess’s lover, was the creature baby the product of their union?  I think Valentino would freak out if he saw that thing!  So many questions, which may never be answered, but Hotel is still a delightfully frightening ride.

Fargo Season 2, Episode 6, Rhinoceros

This episode was non-stop action as war rages between the Gearhardt’s and Kansas City, rippling out onto the streets of Luverne and dragging in the innocent along with the not so innocent characters into the web of chaos.

The episode opens at the Blumquist house with Ed being taken in for questioning regarding the fire and violence at Sam’s Butcher shop.  Peggy stays behind. When Lou arrives at the station he is greeted by his wife and daughter who’ve heard about the fire and were worried about Lou.  He asks his wife to take Noreen home. Noreen attempts to speak to Ed, stating she “Told him what you said.” Lou advises Noreen not to speak to Ed. Charlie waits alone in a cell with a wound to his forehead.  He is led out for his phone call, and he calls his father Bear.  The officer warns Charlie to keep his conversation to five minutes.

At the Gearhardt compound, Bear speaks to his father on the porch.  Bear recounts the story of when he heard about his older brother’s death in the Korean War.  Otto was away on business in Chicago.  Bear wonders how Elron would have coped with the current crisis since he was the heir apparent being the eldest.  Bear recalls how strong his brother was, going sleeveless in the wintertime and always working on his muscles.  Simone comes out to tell Bear Charlie is on the phone for him.  Dodd arrives home and walks up the front porch.  He looks at his daughter in disdain.  He says to her, “Do you know what a whore’s life is like?”

 

Bear bursts out of the house and lunges at Dodd screaming, “You sent MY son!”  Dodd explains it was Charlie’s idea to kill the butcher and he sees promise in the boy, a spark like their grandfather. (The German Great War vet who immigrated to the U.S. with nothing to build an empire.)  The men start beating each other until Floyd rushes outside and screams, “No more bullshit! You’ll split this family apart!”  She tasks Dodd with killing the “Butcher” and instructs Bear to retrieve Charlie then flee to Canada with him.

Inside, Simone shoos the housekeeper away to make a private call.  She predictably calls Mike and warns him the family is mobilizing to Luverene.  She asks Mike to kill her father for her. Mike asks if she’d like him to pass on a “last message” to her father.  Simone decides, “Kiss my grits!” (Classy!)  Mike begins to recite Lewis Carroll’s poem “The Jabberwocky”.” (Its nonsense words seem strangely appropriate for the bizarre situation.)

Hank remains with Peggy at the Blumquist house.  She offers to re-heat the mornings coffee for him, which he politely declines.  Hank goes to sit down, but Peggy won’t let him move her piles of magazines.  She explains the magazines help keep her in touch with beauty and travel and life beyond Minnesota.  She asks if she can leave in the morning so she can drive to Sioux Falls to attend her seminar.  Hank tries to explain she has much more important things to worry about currently.  He reports five people are dead, and even more in Fargo and there was an attempt on her husband’s life.  Peggy continues with the fiction that she and Ed are “bystanders” in all these events.  She babbles on about the importance of her working on herself and her “self-actualization.” Hank sighs, “You’re a little touched aren’t you?” (That’s the polite way of saying completely off her knob!)  Hank tries to explain again to the child-like woman how much danger they are in.  Peggy continues on saying, “Life is a journey!” and expresses her longing to leave for California.  Hank explains the crime lab will be over in the morning to process her car.  She protests, but since she sold it to Sonny, it’s out of her control.  Hank warns they can find amazing things with new forensic technology.  He tries to be direct with Peggy one last time and asks, “What happened the night you hit Rye Gearhardt?”

Lou places Ed in an interview room.  Ed tries to lie, “I’m the victim here!”  Ed says he was just trying to do what anyone would do to protect his family.  Lou is angry, “You started a war in Fargo!”  Ed explains how he can’t stop thinking about the story Noreen told him about Sisyphus.  Ed identifies as Sisyphus, constantly pushing the boulder up the hill.  Ed asserts he’s going to take care of what’s his.  Lou is exasperated by Ed’s blindness. “They want you dead!”  Ed decides he is through talking and asks for a lawyer.  Lou and Hank would agree both Blumquists are a “little touched.”

At the Veteran’s Hall, Karl pontificates to Sonny about Watergate.  He is summoned to the phone from the police station regarding Ed’s request for representation.  Karl brags he’s the best lawyer in town.  Sonny reminds him he’s the only lawyer in town. Despite being intoxicated, Karl is eager to meet his new client and asks Sonny to drive him to the police station immediately.

Peggy waits with Hank in her kitchen.  The Gearhardt clan is seen driving their vehicles towards her and the police station.  Hank asks the obvious question, “Why didn’t you call the police or take Rye to the hospital after you hit him.” Peggy has her usual non-sensical answer. “It was like decisions you make in a dream.”  She goes on to complain about how they live in Ed’s childhood home, which she hates and considers a museum to the past.  The cars arrive in the Blumquist driveway.  Hank tells Peggy to hide and not come out for any reason, no matter what she hears.

Hank confronts Dodd and his armed men.  Hank reports Ed is at the “fortress” of the police station.  Dodd tests his cattle prod menacingly.  Hanzee disappears to the back of the house.  Hank stands firm, blocking the men’s entry until Hanzee comes out the front door behind him and hits him forcefully with the butt of his rifle.  Hank falls down unconscious.

Dodd and his men separate to search the small house.  Finally, Dodd and his men enter the basement littered with ten-foot stacks of magazines.  One calls, “Here, kitty, kitty...” as they navigate the narrow pathways through the clutter.  Dodd hears a noise on the stairs and shoots before realizing he has hit his own man.  He continues to the back of the basement, leaving the cattle prod on a shelf to look in the corner.  Suddenly, Peggy appears, delivering repeated shocks from the prod to Dodd’s chest.  He drops to the floor; it’s unclear whether he is just unconscious or dead as smoke rises from his chest.

In the Gearhardt kitchen, Floyd feeds her invalid husband while Simone looks on.  Floyd rises to confront her granddaughter, “Are you with us? I mean the whole family.”  Simone casually affirms she is loyal.  Floyd continues to explain, “We all got a role to play.”  She sees Simone as capable of being a leader in these changing times. Outside dogs begin to bark.  Their warning comes to late; Mike and his men shoot multiple rounds into the kitchen.  Simone and Floyd dive to the floor.  A bowl of fruit that reads “Home Sweet Home” shatters to the floor.

Karl and Sonny arrive at the police station.  He instructs Sonny to wait, assuring him he’ll return, “Before the beer gets warm!”  Karl strides in, giving a speech invocating his heroic defense of justice.  Lou asks him to only stay thirty minutes, which launches Karl into another speech about freedom.  Once Karl and Ed are alone, Karl gives his new client instructions on how to silently indicate whether he is guilty or not guilty.  Ed is confused.  Karl promises to defend Ed “Until YOUR last breath!” Then realizing how that alludes to Ed receiving the death penalty, revises his statement, “I mean I’ll defend you until MY last breath!” Karl exits the interview room telling Lou he’s going to wake the judge to get this case dismissed.  As Karl goes to leave the station, Bear and his armed entourage block his path.  Karl quickly returns inside and places a bench to barricade the front door.  He says to Lou, “There is a lynching party outside! I may have soiled myself!”

Lou instructs his personnel to call to another town for back up and lock the doors. Lou goes outside to confront Bear. Bear states his demands, “We are here for my boy!” Lou tells him Charlie is under arrest for attempted murder.  Bear asks if the “Butcher” is also inside.  Lou reports they have back up on the way and he is capable of holding off Bear and his men all night. (An obvious lie.) Bear gives Lou five minutes to turn over Charlie.

Lou returns inside and asks for Karl’s help to deal with Bear. He suggests he state he’s Charlie’s lawyer to gain Bear’s trust. Lou returns to fetch Ed from the interview room and informs him he’s being released “for simplicity’s sake” and there is a lynch mob outside.

From the station, Denise radios Hank.  She tells him about the army outside and how they’ve called for backup that’s at least forty-five minutes away.  She advises him come back immediately to help Lou.  Hank agrees, “He can’t be killed without me, I’d never hear the end of it at dinner!” Hank speeds off, concussion be damned, in his cruiser towards the station.

Karl comes out again to address Bear. Meanwhile, Lou leads Ed out a back second story window. Ed awkwardly jumps down to follow Lou into the forest.  Hanzee tracks the pair. In front, Karl takes out a cigarette and tells Bear he’s making things much worse for Charlie.  Karl asserts since Charlie is only seventeen, and its his first offense, he probably would be out of prison in five years.  If Bear takes him, he’ll be a wanted fugitive his whole life.  Karl says if Bear leaves now, “None of this will fall on Charlie.”  Bear wants Ed.  Karl explains if Bear were to kill Ed, the charges against Charlie would multiple.  After a moment to consider, Bear leaves the station.

Lou and Ed move through the forest.  Ed wants to go back to his home to check on Peggy.  Lou advises him that is not a good idea.  A cruiser’s lights shine into the woods. The men come out to greet Hank.  As Lou and Hank trade their stories about the night, Ed makes a run down the empty road presumably to go back to his house. Hank asks Lou to drive him as he’s seeing double.  Hanzee emerges silently from the woods, hot on Ed’s trail.

The episode draws to a close with a seventies version of the song, “Man of Constant Sorrow.” (The theme song from “O’ Brother Where Art Thou?” Ed seems to be a good candidate for the man of constant sorrow, but others could fit.)  Karl tells Sonny about the common link of men who’ve fought together in wartime.  He laments there is no civilian equivalent to this experience.

Again the episode explores the theme of how combat experience never leaves the men who’ve experienced it.  From Elron, who died in Korea to Hank and Lou who fought their generation’s wars, each man has had to deal with the scars of combat and survival.  Hanzee is another man who seems to have never left the battlefield as he continues to stalk Dodd’s enemies like he did the Viet Cong in the dark tunnels.  The men consult these memories as the war rages between Kansas City and the Gerhardt’s.  The women see combat differently.  Simone uses her body to manipulate Mike and Floyd uses her position as matriarch to control her sons.  Betsy fights her battle against her body while trying to keep strong for Lou and Molly. Peggy wraps herself in her muddled dreams of “self fulfillment” yet can be surprisingly deadly when backed into a corner.  Its unclear, which characters didn’t survive tonight’s episode.  The previews indicate Otto maybe dead but so may Dodd, Floyd and Simone.  What is the point of this war?  Where will all the senseless violence lead?  Perhaps the nonsense rhymes of the Jabberwocky poem can point to clues.

  The Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll 1871

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

  Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

 All mimsy were the borogoves,

  And the mome raths outgrabe.

Beware the Jabberwock, my son!

  The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!

Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun

  The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:

 Long time the manxome foe he sought --

So rested he by the Tumtum tree,

 And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,

 The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,

Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,

 And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through

The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!

He left it dead, and with its head

He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?

  Come to my arms, my beamish boy!

  O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'

  He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

  Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

 All mimsy were the borogoves,

  And the mome raths outgrabe.

AHS, Hotel, Episode 6, Room 33

It’s officially mid-season of American Horror Story Hotel.  Thus far, I think it stands out with some of the best seasons of the franchise, Murder-house and Asylum.  It delighted me to see the connection between season one and season five tonight. Creator Ryan Murphy has stated all seasons of American Horror Story are connected.

1926, Los Angles, a pregnant Countess arrives at Murder-house via taxi.  Inside, she meets the doctor to perform an abortion.  He asks her how far along she is in her pregnancy and she reports “Three weeks!” but reveals a figure more consistent with seven months gestation.  The doctor’s assistant advises him the Countess’s temperature is seventy-five degrees.  He scoffs at this information. (Provided to inform the viewer this isn’t her mortal state.)  In the basement full of jars and experiments, the doctor removes the fetus.  The assistant proclaims, “It’s alive!” in true Frankenstein fashion!  In the next scan of the room, the assistant is lying dead on the floor presumably after having his first meal of human blood.  The doctor places the baby at the Countess’s breast and she is enamored with her deadly newborn son.

John sleeps fitfully in his hotel room.  John opens his eyes to find Holden lying next to him.  He follows his son down the hall to the “coffin room.”  John looks bewildered at the children sleeping in their glass coffins.  At last he comes upon the biggest coffin where Alex is sleeping. Her eyes open, meeting his.

In another room, passionate love is being made between Liz and Tristan.  Tristan is bewildered by his feelings for her.  Liz explains, “You’re an orphan, so it’s like having mommy and daddy in the room with you, loving you.”  Liz gives him books she enjoys, Bronte and Oscar Wilde.  Tristan asks, “Do you love me?”  Liz responds in a typical self-effacing way, “I don’t know, you’re so damn handsome!”  Tristan declares his love for her in both a physical and emotional realms.  It’s Liz’s first time being loved for who she is, and she cries but also feels guilty about “betraying the Countess.”

Meanwhile, the Countess is busy having sexy time with one gay Will Drake.  Drake can’t perform without male stimuli so the Countess texts Tristan.  Tristan leaves Liz and is annoyed to find Drake in their bed.  The Countess commands him to arouse him.  Tristan exclaims, “I’m not gay!”  This doesn’t matter to anyone else in the room.

Alex finds Liz at reception and confides John has found the “coffin room.”  Alex reports she’s given John a sedative but needs a more long term plan to deal with the problem.  Liz is happy to help her destroy the coffin room.

Alex wakes up her estranged husband in his room.  She fabricates as story that he called her complaining he was having visions.  John tells her he saw Holden and followed him to the coffin room.  She leads him to the newly cleaned room, just an empty swimming pool.  Alex explains his visions mirror Scarlett’s and politely suggests he is losing his mind.

The Countess wears a long white gown to pay a visit on the mysterious occupant of room thirty-three.  The room holds a bassinet covered with a black veil.  She coos, “Hello, my love!”  She holds the infant and tells him she is going to Paris and will return so rich she’ll never have to leave him again.  The operation “Seduce and kill Will Drake” seems to be in full swing.

Donovan and Ramona enter the lobby arm in arm to be greeted by Iris at reception. The pair enter the elevator and are immediately at odds.  Donavon wishes to go upstairs to the penthouse he shared with the Countess.  Ramona wants to get down to business, killing the vampire children in the basement.  She chides him for “going soft,” claiming he is not over the Countess.  Donavon leaves.

Ramona finds the coffin room empty and goes to find Iris for help.  Iris is confused at the coffins disappearance.  Ramona notices the change in Iris since she feed on the hipsters.  There is a glimpse of the ghost of Justin, knocking on doors and demanding kale!  Iris confirms if they kill the children, the Countess will lose her reason for living.  Not able to locate the other coffins, Ramona asks for the key to room thirty-three.

Predictably, Donovan is up in the penthouse, sniffing the Countess’s panties.  The Swedish women, mumbling about “The Fast and the Furious” interrupt him.  The women suspect they are dead but can’t understand why they can’t leave the hotel. Donavon advises they need to find their purpose.  He laments he lost his purpose, which was the Countess.

Ramona enters room thirty-three and calls out to “Bartholomew, Auntie Ramona is here! I have something for you!”  She carries a knife as something moves in the room.  A close-up shows the infant’s pupil-less eyes and bright blonde eyelashes. Yikes!  Liz, carrying a silver tray notes the door is ajar and opens it slowly even further…

Alex reports to Liz, Bartholomew is missing.  Ramona sits at the bar, sporting a cut on her left cheek.  She confides to Liz, “That thing should have died!”  Liz listens then politely then asks her to leave.  Even with the Countess away, Ramona is not welcome at the Hotel.  Ramona notices Liz seems different.  She confesses she is in love for the first time, with Tristan.  Ramona laughs, “Isn’t that the Countess’s new squeeze!”  Liz suggests the Countess will understand.  Ramona advises her to flee while she can.

Alex, searching for Bart, finds the Swedes in a room with a naked male corpse.  They confess, “We just wanted to stop walking around!”  

A Scott Dissick type guy is in the hallway talking on his phone.  He reports he’s at Will Drake’s new hotel and is looking for “some hot models.”  The phone connection is lost and he is met by one of the Swedish women.  She mentions the “Fast and the Furious” as sexual option!  The man agrees, adding he is also up for  “slow and sweet.”  The two fall into a room and proceed to get better acquainted.  Vendela comes out of the bathroom and the man balks, thinking the pair prostitutes running some kind of scam.  He declares, “Mr. Woo doesn’t pay for sex!”   Vendela stabs the man in the neck.

Alex listens to the story impassively and suggests she may have another purpose for the pair.  She enlists their help to break the mind of a man who has always desired a three-way. (John!)

Although retired from the force, John interrupts Detective Hahn at another “Commandment Murder” crime scene.  The crime scene is a church.  One body lies in the aisle.  On the alter; another man is naked and gutted with coins covering his chest.  John excitedly offers his theories, but Hahn shuts him down and asks him to go away.

Later, Liz finds John drinking from a bottle of whiskey in the hallway outside of his room.  John complains he loves his wife and kids and it’s not his fault he’s a bad husband and father.  Liz tries to take the bottle from him and John shoves her away.  

The Swedish women find him and soon they are having sexy time back in John’s room.  Everything is going fine until the girls start to bleed from their mortal wounds.  Scared witless, John runs naked and bloody to Liz at reception.  She looks bored, “I see your breakdown is going well!” John leads Liz back to the room to find the women gone and Ms. Evers in a tizzy over the blood on the sheets.  “Those Nordic types have no respect for fine linens!”  The women leave, gleefully declaring, “We have a purpose!”

Alone once again, John sees Mr. March. “I see you’re finally truly checking into the Hotel Cortez!”  John lunges at the ghost, but March disappears into the wall.  John continues to punch the walls in frustration.  John begins to pack his bag, determined to leave this crazy place.  As he showers off the ghost blood, Bart roves around his room and hides in his suitcase!  John exits the lobby, the suitcase bulging ominously.

John arrives home with his daughter Scarlett.  She is upset with her mother whom she has not heard from in two days.  She is not any more impressed with her father, questioning him if he has the right to be at the family home.  She storms off when John promises to never leave her.  John goes to comfort his daughter but she is further upset by a bloody shirt he’s holding.  He apologizes and heads back to his bedroom.  He hears something and gets his handgun out.  Scarlett is zoned out watching cartoons as her father follows the shadow around the hallway.  He aims and fires his weapon, causing Scarlett to scream.

Drake carries his sleeping son back to their penthouse.  The Countess’s trip with the Drakes seems to have been a success.  She approaches Liz stating, “I can hear your heartbeat.” And inquires what’s new with her loyal servant.  Liz declares he’s fallen in love; she hesitates before naming Tristan as her lover.  The Countess replies simply, “Interesting.”  Liz elaborates its only been a few weeks and he feels Tristan is the love of his life.  The Countess states she doesn’t share.  Liz implores her to consider his mortal happiness and the Countess agrees to talk to the boy.

Detective Hahn pays a visit to John’s house and is greeted by Alex.  He tells her John was talking about monsters.  Alex says she’ll handle her husband who is sitting shaken on the front doorstep.  Alex informs him their daughter is safely now with her grandparents.  John looks distraught as he tells Alex that Scarlett is afraid of him. Alex seems to pity her husband, enraging him further.  He goes inside and slams the door.  In the bushes, Alex hears a movement and sees blood on the low growing palms.  She peers closer using a small flashlight.

The Countess, Tristan and Liz meet to clear the air.  Tristan attempts initially to play innocent.  The Countess describes her ability to taste emotions, comparing love to rosewater and hate to ice chips.  She claims to enjoy them all, save betrayal.  Tristan speaks out, stating he knows her game, that to her “leaving is your orgasm.”  She is a vampire who feeds on heartbreak.  Tristan claims to have found real love with Liz. Liz implores the Countess to “Let me have this one!”  The Countess looks at the pair and asks if this is truly what they want.  Liz confirms it.  She says, “You can have him!”  But whisks out her razored glove and slits the model vampire’s throat.  Liz collapses on top of her lover, weeping.  The Countess coldly informs her, “He’s yours, you bury him.”

The Countess glides down the hallway in a long black gown towards room thirty-three.  She is surprised to find Alex holding Bartholomew.  Alex explains he got out and was hurt but he’s better now.  The Countess is impressed, “You saved my son!” Alex replies, “You saved mine.”  The Countess looks down at Bartholomew and his face is seen for the first time, its eyes pure black with a gaping mouth and pointy teeth without a nose.  He resembles a child with full cleft palate deformity.  Is Bart to be feared or protected?

The episode was punctuated with suspense and frenzied action.  Who knew vampires were so easily killed? (True Blood vampires needed a stake to the heart and could heal from almost every other injury, including shots to the head.) The Countess seems oblivious to the numerous enemies she’s making.  Will Ramona and Donovan succeed in finding and killing her children?  How will Alex continue to straddle both worlds and continue to “gaslight” her husband?  What is happening with the horde of vampire students?  Will they find “Mommy” at the Hotel? I suppose our goblet is now half empty and we’ll have to wait until next week for another sip.

The Peanuts Movie

I was skeptical about a Disney reboot of one of my favorite cartoon strips of all time. Disney tends to boil things down to the basic bland, potentially stripping beloved characters found in  “Winnie the Pooh” or Pixar movies to fit the “happily ever after” model.  Characters like Charlie Brown or Eeyore have traditionally lacked self-confidence and popularity which doesn’t match the typical Disney princess or hero.

Charlie Brown’s essence has remained intact for this feature length film. (Probably due to Shultz’s sons having a hand in the script.) Adults will find familiar themes from the made for television features.  Snoopy flies again on his doghouse to defeat the Red Baron.  Lucy offers psychiatric advice for a nickel.  Pig Pen is still allergic to bathing.  Adults still speak like muted trombones.  But most importantly, Charlie Brown still struggles with others teasing him and is own feelings of inadequacy.  There is no “bully-free” zone in Peanuts, and kids are both kind and cruel.

 I think those feelings are realistic and perhaps more identifiable for children then common themes in todays movies where if you try, you succeed, and everyone will love you for being the special snowflake you were born to be.  That’s not to say the movie doesn’t offer Charlie Brown a bit of hope at the end.  Charlie Brown was always an optimist, despite what others said and did to him.  That perseverance in failure is perhaps why the Peanuts resonate with audiences old and new.

I recommend this movie to everyone whose ever read or enjoyed the imaginary world of Charles Shultz.  It may not keep the attention of very young children as its pacing matches the pre-Internet era.  I think it will be added to the collection of Peanuts classics.