Fear the Walking Dead, Episode 2, Come Close, Not Too Close

After a suspenseful opening which some viewers interpreted as boring, let’s see if tonight gets down to the horror-fest brought to you by the fine folks at the “Walking Dead” franchise.  

We pick up from last weekend with school closed early; the principal patrols the empty hallways with his radio. Alicia walks into a house where the door has been left ajar.  She sees a shattered vase and proceeds cautiously calling her boyfriend’s name. She hears him groan and sees blood spatter.  Finding him she calls, “Oh my God!”

The rest of Alicia’s family is riding in the truck, which Nick has just used to ride over his dead friend twice! Travis calls Alicia telling her they are planning on leaving town as soon as possible. Alicia protests stating she needs to take care of Matt who is seriously ill. Maddy implores Alicia not to touch him. At this point, no one is sure how the virus is spread.

Travis’s son Chris sulks on the bus and ignores a call from his dad. The family arrives to pick up Alicia from Matt’s house. The parents want her to leave with them immediately. Matt’s feverish and appears to have a bite on his right upper chest! Alicia is reluctant but Matt insists she leave him. They say a tearful goodbye.

Chris continues to ride the bus. An ambulance streams by. A man enters the bus screaming, “They shot this homeless dude like 20 times!” This brings confusion and outrage on the bus and Chris and others exit.

The family arrives home to see their neighbors setting up a “bouncy house” for their daughter’s ninth birthday party. They complain of poor turn out due to many people sick with the “flu.” Nick, who witnessed undead action first hand muses, “No one is paying attention!” Nick tells his mother he’s scared of the heroine withdrawal symptoms. After removing Calvin’s blood from the truck’s hood, Travis leaves to find his son Chris. (Is it just me, or do they all seem pretty blasé about having to kill their son’s childhood friend?)

Travis calls his ex-wife, who is super annoyed with him interfering with Chris and their custody arrangement. As he drives on, he spies a police officer being treated for a bite wound on the forearm. He hits traffic and also notes a police officer buying all the bottled water from a convenience store.

At the house, Maddy tries to get Nick some medical help for his withdrawal symptoms.  Frustrated, she decides she needs to retrieve something from the high school.  Maddy walks the empty halls “borrowing” some keys from the principal’s office.  Entering her own office, she uses a crowbar to open a locker containing drugs confiscated from students. (Surprising they would keep them, not law enforcement.) Tobias surprises her in her activity. He asks her if he can have his knife back.

Downtown, Chris is part of an increasingly agitated crowd of protesters.  He begins to film the police activity. Alicia reluctantly takes care of her brother. She is eager to leave him to get back to Matt.  Nick urges her to stay saying, “Matt is not safe!” But Alicia doesn’t care.  Nick has an expertly timed seizure and Alicia returns to his aid, angrily.

Travis arrives at his ex’s house, only to be met with more resistance.  Travis tries to inform her of the pending crisis, Liza seems uninterested in the news.  He grabs her phone to call Chris, who, thinking it’s his mom, answers.  Chris shouts at his father he’s at a protest.

Maddy and Tobias go into the kitchen to load up on canned food.  Tobias predicts people will try to obtain food, medications and guns when the full crisis hits.  He asks Maddy excitedly whether she’s “See any yet?” Maddy denies it.

Like no teenager ever, Alicia has donned rubber gloves and is scrubbing his vomit off the floor.  Nick, looking surprising well after his seizure, notes the power had been going on and off.  Sirens wail in the background.

Maddy and Tobias wheel the can goods on a cart down the hallway. Tobias approves of her idea to leave the city for the desert.  Tobias muses how quickly civilization can fall apart.  Suddenly, they hear groans approaching. The principal advances and doesn’t respond to Maddy calling his name. He begins to attack her and Tobias stabs him with his knife.  Unfortunately, Tobias doesn’t know where to stab the walkers and the principal continues to advance with the knife sticking out of his abdomen.  Maddy does some quick thinking and grabs a fire extinguisher and starts to beat the Obama doppelganger.  Finally, she bashes in his head and has killed her first walker!

The duo head out to the parking lot, sadly forgetting all the canned goods.

Travis and Liza try to drive into downtown LA to pick up their budding vlogger Chris.  She sees a man shot through the eye lying down in the street. They find Chris and attempt to force him to go with them.  The SWAT team is approaching.  A rainbow dread headed girl snarls and is shot in the head by police.  This freaks out our trio and they burst into a barbershop just as the owner is closing the metal door.  Travis implores them to give them refuge. The man’s wife agrees, “Let them in, close the door.”

The siblings are alone dealing with Nick’s symptoms.  The radio urges people to “Stay indoors.”  Wait, people still listen to the radio?  Maddy drops off Tobias at home.  He assures her he’ll be okay.  Will he turn into a nerd badass like Glen?  Maddy passes a family in a sedan where the kids have decorated paper scrub masks like monsters. Foreshadowing!

The barbershop group shelters in the candlelight. Liza asks Travis what he knows as it begins to dawn on her there may be a serious problem brewing. Travis tries to explain, “They don’t die, they come back.”  Thank you Captain Obvious!

There is an aerial shoot to show the traffic is coming to halt.  Maddy returns home and gives the confiscated drugs to her son.  She won’t say what happened at the school.  Nick tells her Alicia tried to leave.  Maddy gets emotional in the bathroom by herself as she washes the blood out of her coat. She calls Travis. He informs her they’re stuck downtown and for her to leave without him. (Explosions and gunfire sound in the background.)

In the suburbs, a man growls down the street.  Suddenly there is commotion and the kids can’t help but take a peek outside.  Mr. Dawson (seen earlier in the episode looking ill) is now feeding on the Cruz’s.  Hope the nine-year-old escaped.

So ends the second episode of “Fear the Walking Dead” which has been long on walking and short on fear.  Can the fledgling series keep us interested enough in the characters to care when they’re in peril?  I’m a little surprised at the lack of horror and gore.  Without the suspense, it was a little dull.  Hope things pick up next week.

A Smokey Night With Chris Isaak at Portland Zoo

      

            They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but a shaky video from our distant perch surely wouldn’t be worth much.  This was the third installment of our little summer concert going season, which began in June at the Crystal Ballroom with a sweaty night seeing “Post Modern Jukebox.” Then there was last month’s three in one with Train, the Fray and Matt Nathansan. But, for me, this was the highlight of the summer.

Everyone has a band or songs that recall a place and time in our lives and for me, Chris Isaak’s music has served as a soundtrack to many loves and heartbreaks in my life.  Ironically, I never saw the S.F. based band until we moved back to the Northwest. This concert made me homesick for San Francisco.

           

            The unfortunate problem with all three events besides challenging my back and hip was arriving too late to secure decent “general admission” seating. This time, we had a good reason to be tardy, visiting a close friend whose husband had an awful week and remains in intensive care. The venue also restricted the chair height and blanket size in order to pack the fans in like sardines.

           

            We wound up sitting behind an eccentric foursome whom I swear were swingers. Half the time, the large gorilla of a man in front of me blocked any hope I had of a view. To make matters worse, his enormous tukhus threatened to crush my toes. This was the oldest and most affluent crowd of our concert going season and by far the most obnoxious! I also had the sinking feeling some concert goers had never heard of the band and were merely wandering Zoo members.

            The opening band were a locally based duo called “Ashley Leigh” who played a fine fiddle mix of country and bluegrass. I bought a CD, which the ladies graciously signed for me.  I discovered I had grown up one street away from the lovely Ashley in Eugene, Oregon! (Cue “It’s a Small World.”) I hope we can catch another show with them; they were a hoot and reminded me a bit of the Indigo Girls.

           

            Chris was easy to spot when he appeared wearing a bright blue sequined suit he could have borrowed from Elvis. The opening song was one of the few I didn’t recognize in the whole set. After a few songs, Chris engaged the crowd with banter worthy of a stand-up comedian. Even though this was my first time seeing him, I knew he was funny based on seeing and hearing other live shows and interviews. This lady in the cheap seats has been a fan for about twenty- five years.

            He performed his beloved classics including “Wicked Game” and “Baby, Did a Bad Bad Thing,” both made super popular by on movie soundtracks. Unfortunately, one of my favorite songs, “San Francisco Days” was interrupted by jerks behind us yelling at those in front of us to sit down! (Not like I could see much given Mr. Tukhus!) It got worse from there; the two swinger men in front of us deciding to speak VERY loudly about dry wall and other meaningless stuff while I was trying to hear the missing soundtrack of my intense youth! If you weren’t into the music, please leave! Least you think I was being hypersensitive, the folks in other rows were also giving these dudes (including Mr. Tukhus!) the stink eye.

I had to use all my powers of intention to listen to the music and revel in the emotion and romance with my husband on our tiny island of a fleece blanket. (Cursing myself all the while for not buying “reserved” tickets.) Given the feelings of the crowd, we also didn’t feel free to get up and dance to the songs we wanted. Bummer.

            Chris and the band were consummate professionals.  There were no “selfies” taken for fans (see my Train concert review) but there were plenty of guitar tricks and some Elvis type dancing. I enjoyed his banter with the bass player “Scottie.”  Some VIP types got to go up on stage and dance. Chris seemed eager to share the spotlight.  He even confessed he still gets stage fright, which caused many females to let out a collective “Awww.”  Chris promised a new album to be released this October, after much photo-shopping the cover. (Humbleness will make you friends, genuine or not!)

            I believe many older folks were in the audience due to their love of Elvis.  Chris confessed a love of Elvis movies, especially the super bad ones! He sang “Love Me Tender” and it was better then the King’s version, in this fan’s opinion. They also performed a great version of Roy Orbison’s “Pretty Woman” which allowed everyone to briefly get up on their feet.

           

            Alas, it seemed to end all too soon. Chris did reappear in a black disco-ball suit and did a three-song encore to finish the ninety-minute set. As a longtime fan, there were many songs I missed hearing including his fantastic cover of Neil Diamond’s “Solitary Man.” But if the goal in show biz is to “keep them wanting more,” Mr. Isaak and crew certainly delivered.  I hope to see the band again in a more personal venue, preferably without the talking gorillas!

Fear the Walking Dead, Pilot

I’ve had a couple weeks to digest my disappointment in HBO’s dismal sophomore season of True Detective.  As I embark on reviewing this series, I’ve had time to contemplate what makes a good series. I’m happy to report, AMC looks like its got a winner judging by the pilot episode of Fear the Walking Dead.

The series is the prequel to the hugely popular “The Walking Dead.” 

This series focuses on a newly blended family, including a middle-aged couple trying to parent their three teenage children.  This situation is very relatable and makes us instantly feel connected to the characters.  The second factor is making the supernatural seem relatable.  Unlike the hardscrabble folks of The Walking Dead, these characters haven’t faced the undoing of their comfortable world.  The viewer can enjoy the certain superiority over the characters horror and confusion because we know what is about to happen.  But it’s still fascinating to discover how the zombie-apocalypse began with small, seemingly unrelated events.  The tension is palpable from the opening five minutes and doesn’t let up for the next hour and a half.

The series opens with a long hair boy waking up disoriented in a trashed church.  (English actor Frank Dillane is channeling a serious young Johnny Depp circa “Nightmare on Elm Street.”) He fumbles around calling for a girl named Gloria.  He hears banging and the occasional scream as he makes his way down to the first level of the building.  Finally, he sees a man with his throat ripped out.  He calls out more frantically to Gloria, finding her over a corpse feeding!  She stands up and a knife is sticking out of her chest as she moves towards him, groaning.  He runs out of the church and is immediately hit by a passing car.  Given the reaction of the people who respond to the scene, the world is still “normal.”  The bystanders call 911 and surround the teen to help.

Madison (played by Kim Dickens of Sons of Anarchy and Deadwood) is having a hectic morning.  She steals a tender moment with her new live-in boyfriend Travis (Native New Zealander actor, Cliff Curtis) as her teenage daughter Alicia (Aussie actress, Alycia Debnam-Carey) radiates annoyance with both adults and her situation.

Meanwhile, Nick is in the hospital being interviewed by cops.  Since he ran out into traffic, they assume the teen was trying to kill himself.  Madison enters the room and orders the cops out.  Nick has a long history of heroine abuse.  His sister Alicia has tagged along and seems frustrated at how her “bad” brother always is the center of attention.  Nick tells his mom it was an “accident” being hit by the car.  Travis attempts to call his ex-wife to reach out to his son Christopher.

Leaving Nick in care at the hospital, Maddy goes to her job at the high school where she serves as a guidance counselor.  At the metal detector at the door, she pulls out a troubled kid and escorts him to her office for a talk.  He had a knife in his pocket and has some cryptic observations. “No one is going to college. Nothing is going to be the same. There is safety in numbers.”  Tobias speaks of the conspiracy theories surrounding a new deadly virus.  Madison confidently dismisses him stating, “If something was wrong, the authorities would tell us.”

Alicia finds her boyfriend who is busy painting a mural on the school grounds.  At the hospital Nick gasps awake.  Travis is at his bedside; he asks if he was hallucinating.  Nick tells Travis the incredible story of what he saw at the church.  Travis dismisses his account, saying, “You saw what the drug saw.” Nick is alarmed, “If that came out of me, I’m insane.”

Travis decides to go to the derelict church to investigate Nick’s wild claims. Travis calls out, a frighten man yells at him and then flees terrified.  Travis finally finds a large spot of blood and gore.  He leaves in a hurry.  Travis finds mother and child sleeping in the hospital bed.  When Nick wakes, he promises to get clean.  Alicia sounds annoyed at this familiar promise. Madison is also skeptical.

Alicia finds her boyfriend Matt on the school grounds.  She sounds very world-weary for a sixteen year old.  She looks at the time until she graduates as a prison sentence in which she has one more year before she hopes to attend Berkley.  They agree to meet later for some romantic alone time.

Travis is a teacher at the high school; the lesson today is “Call of the Wild” by Jack London. The theme is survival. Madison pays a visit to the principal, who is listening in to Travis’s class. (The actor could be an Obama impersonator.)

Nick tries to charm the nurse to release one of his wrist restraints so he can use the bedpan.  Nick expresses concern regarding his roommate, who has been breathing noisily throughout the episode.  While the nurse is out of the room, Nick unties his other hand and drops the steel bedpan. (Obsolete in hospitals, but more dramatic!)  The noise, which brings the nurse, is the monitor on the roommate, a “Code Blue” is called.  Nick dresses and leaves the hospital during the action. Nick walks out and down the middle of the street.

When Madison learns of Nick’s flight from the hospital she asks Travis to take her to the church, figuring he might return.  Travis observes there are no bodies, but lots of blood.  Madison finds the area Nick was using as a “bedroom”.  She spies a book belonging to her son, only to recoil when it reveals his “works” inside. (Needle kit.)

The couple makes their way to an old friend of Nick.  Sirens and choppers hum in the background, but that’s not uncommon in LA.  The friend, Calvin, is vacuuming a mini-van and denies knowledge of Nick’s whereabouts. A blue placard and a wheelchair are noted near the van. Who does Calvin take care of in the wheelchair?  The couple gets back on the road, Maddy verbalizes frustration regarding her son’s addiction.  Nick has bought a “burner” phone and sends a text and hides under an overpass.  Alicia waits at Venice Beach for Matt.  He doesn’t appear and she leaves frustrated.

Travis and Madison are still on the road in the darkness.  Traffic has come to a halt ahead and police are ordering people to stay in their cars.  Our couple defies the order and step out to see what the problem is.  Gunfire is heard, and Travis decides to make a break through the traffic to flee the scene.

Alicia and her friends are in science class the next day, watching the hottest viral video.  It depicts a man being resuscitated by an EMT, when he suddenly attacks the man, then keeps walking menacingly towards the police who shoot him with no effect.  The teacher takes the kids phones and heads into her lecture. “In science, there are no non-linear things.”  The kids see the video’s end later, the police finally hit the reanimated man in the head and he stops moving.  Alicia complains to a friend her boyfriend Matt has been AWOL.

 In the principal’s office, staff views the same video.  Travis sees it and says, “This is what Nick was describing.” He is becoming more concerned the boy was telling the truth.  Startled by the video and the large number of absences, the principal declares school over for the day.  The kids excitedly hurry out. Travis tells Madison they should leave the school too, in order to not get “blocked in”.  From the school bus, Tobias looks worriedly at Madison.

Nick finds a diner and wanders in like a zombie. (On his way he passes a gas station with a posted price $2.39, come on I can believe folks raising up from the dead to eat us, but that price is completely unbelievable!) He meets his friend Calvin in the back. (Obscure song reference, “Deals dope out of Denny’s, keeps a table in the back. By the band David and David from the song “Boomtown” about LA.) Calvin chastises Nick for having his parents come to seek him out. “Nobody can connect us.” Nick swears he would never betray his dealer. He tells Calvin about what he saw in the church. Calvin scoffs, remarking, “Gloria isn’t 90 pounds soaking wet and can hardly pierce her own veins.” Cal hugs Nick and promises him a free fix.

Calvin and Nick leave the diner in his black Honda. They head toward the viaduct. It’s clear to the viewer Cal is looking to get rid of his friend in a permanent way. The men exit the car, and there is a struggle. Miracoulously, Nick turns Cal’s gun and shoots him in the gut. Nick falls to the ground, frantic that he’s killed his friend. Nick runs away.

Madison and Travis come across Nick as he flees. “I did a bad thing! I shot Calvin!” Maddy blames herself, and they race off to see if they can still help Calvin. They find the Honda, but no sign of Cal. Maddy embraces her son, wondering if he has truly cracked mentally. As the three leave the area, they encounter Calvin walking toward the truck in the dark tunnel. The adults rush out to see he has a gunshot wound to the chest. Cal is not responding to their questions and struggles with Travis, attempting to bite him. Nick warns the adults away and hits Calvin with the truck. They look back to see Cal rising again, with an open fracture to his right arm. Nick drives forward to hit his former friend again. Cal is down a little longer, but then turns his head and starts to rise again. Travis, Nick and Madison stare in horror at what they are witnessing. Travis muses, “What the hell is happening"? Maddy replies, “I have no idea.”

So ends the first episode of Fear the Walking Dead. It had a perfect blend of suspense and surprisingly less gore then Walking Dead. But as the viewers know, things are about to get momentously worse. Questions remain for the next episode. What happened to Matt? What happened to Nick’s roommate who died, is his reanimation about to wreak havoc in the hospital? Will Tobias lead the conspiracy nerds to war against the walkers? And how bad will the highways become in LA trying to flee the zombie hoards? This short six-episode season looks like an awesome thrill ride into the zombie-apocalypse!

True Detective; Season 2 Episode 8, Omega Station

One of my favorite things about this season has been the moody and pulsating theme song.  It’s chorus seems an appropriate summary of Season 2, “Never Mind.”  I wish I could get the eight and a half hours of my life I gave to trying to squeeze lemonade out of this abysmal season. So it is without any sadness, I enter this last review.

Ani and Ray are at the dingy motel engaging in some romantic pillow talk about her experience of being raped and kidnapped.  I want to have empathy for her but the narrative is so predictably clichéd.  Ani describes the “black hole” of her memory and how she was secretly proud of being singled out, even if it was for horrendous abusive purposes.  Ray counters with his story about seeking justice for his wife’s attacker, only to learn he had killed the wrong man.  “It didn’t make anything better.”  Ray declares miserably.  As my mother-in-law used to say, “They used to put me to sleep with this story.” Color me jaded.

Enter the high priest of jaded, Frank, as he meets his wife in the train station to discuss their escape plan.  Frank tries to channel Walter White by saying rude things to Jordon so that she leaves without him. Jordon counters with the best line of the season, “You can’t act worth shit!” Amen to that!  The weary couple declares their destructive love for one another.  Jordon throws her wedding ring to the street.  Frank pleads he doesn’t want to see her get hurt because of his actions. It’s a soap worthy dialogue with zero impact.  They part by promising a mythical meeting in Venezuela in two weeks which both seem to understand will never happen.  Jordon leaves.  We learn how “Nails” got his nickname, but who the heck cares?

At the seedy hotel, Ray learns of Paul’s death from the Lieutenant who shot him.  Ray hangs up and informs Ani he knows it was Burris behind Paul’s murder, adding that Paul was “better then us.”  I think all three of these actors are on par for a “Razzie” for their performances.  Ani muses how all the detectives were set up and if there is a chance for “justice” they should try.

Frank goes to Chessani’s mansion to find the mayor drowned in the pool.  He finds the mayor’s drug addled widow and advises her to get lost, as this was no suicide but murder by Toni.  Frank wonders where the mayor’s estranged daughter may be, but she is just another undeveloped character with no real purpose in the series. (A horrible waste of the talented actress from The Bridge.)

Aerial shots of city and land!

Ray and Ani arrive at Erica’s house, Caspere’s former secretary and the orphan from the diamond homicide.  It is revealed her brother was the “set photographer” they met around episode three.  He is responsible for shooting Ray in the creepy bird mask.  Erica reveals after she and her brother were separated, she had a bad foster situation and became a runaway and teenage prostitute.  In an amazing coincidence, she knew Tasha whom introduced her to the parties where she met Caspere.  It was her brother who planned the elaborate torture and killing of Caspere.  Why was he driven around in the car posthumously? It was for fun and to ironically visit the land he, which was going to make him rich.  The plan was to use the hard drive as blackmail to obtain the stolen diamonds. The hard drive is blank.

Frank calls Osip with a canned gangster line, “When the lights go out, that’s me!” (Please, leave this stuff to real actors, like Bryan Cranston.) Ray calls Frank as Ani puts Erica on a bus to Seattle. (No one will ever find you two states away, geez!) Ani tells her to “Move on with her life, blah, blah, blah…”

Frank goes to his favorite dive bar.  He secures Ani and Ray’s transport to Mexico.  Frank, Captain Obvious, tells her, “Everything is ending.” The depressing singer sings in the background about death, she makes Nirvana seem like a party band!

Ray channels his inner redneck in a jean jacket and a cowboy hat.  He sees himself on the news as he enters the train station to meet Burris. Len is waiting in a hoodie, Ray vows he “Wants them too.”  Len agrees to let him try to exchange the hard drive for the diamonds with Burris. Ray tells the corrupt chief that Len is dead and he will exchange the drive and the documents for his name being cleared.  Ray says he knows the “shootout” was a set-up.  Burris offers to let “Ani take the blame for everything.” Then the chief says Caspere was actually Len and Erica’s father. (Meaning the orphan shot his own father, irony!) Len, who was sitting behind the chief, springs to action and stabs Burris.  The crooked Lieutenant and Ani come out of hiding and start shooting.  Burris and Len end up dead.  Ani and Ray do a slow-motion “Baywatch run.” Then we head up in the sky for more aerial shots of everywhere!

The depressing singer serenades Ray and Ani back to the sleazy bar. Frank meets Ani for the first time. He asks her to send a message to Jordon in Venezuela. “Tell her I wanted to be there.”

Ray and Frank have a final heart to heart.  He advises Ray to run.  Ray learns Blake was the one who gave him faulty intel on his wife’s attacker.  Frank assures him he died a slow and painful death.  Frank discloses the details regarding the money transfer with Osip.  The plan is to rob him to finance their respective escapes.  The backstory on the scarred bar owner is Ray caught the man who disfigured her face and Frank gave her the bar.  Sweet, but who cares at this point?

Ray and Ani have a private moment. She asks him, “If I asked you to run right now, would you?” Ray says he might, but he’s obviously not going to exit this episode alive.  The pair tragically hold hands.

Aerial shots of landscape and freeways! Ray and Frank break into Pitlor’s clinic in effort to steal his patients files for evidence. The much-morphed Rick Springfield is in his office with his wrists cut in another apparent “suicide.” (Here lies the remains of another potentially decent performance killed by this horrible script!)

Ray and Frank don gas masks and strap on heavy weapons as they spy on Osip’s cabin. (Maybe they were trying to harken back to Season 1 and the mystery of the man in the gas mask and underwear? If so, it was just sad.) The duo fires some tear gas, shot the security detail outside and enter the cabin.  Osip makes a desperate plea to Frank and is shot in the head. (Another under-scripted character bites the dust!) The men kill the all the bad guys and remove large sums of cash as dramatic rock music plays.

The criminal and ex-cop say goodbye in an industrial area.  Frank implores Ray to “Stay down south.” Ray replies, “That’s the plan.” It is clear he will do something to mess up this plan.  Frank sets fire to his Land Rover and hops into his Audi. (Shameless product placement.) Wait, another dramatic aerial shot!

Ray calls Ani to tell her he’s on his way.  She reminds him the boat leaves at three.  Frank exchanges the cash for diamonds with the Orthodox Jews. Ray looks at the picture of his son, and decides to make a detour to Laurel Canyon.  Frank picks up his passport from the weary Armenians.  I’m a little puzzled to why the show worked so hard to fit in all these intricate details no one cares about since the story was so weak. But, never mind.

Like a moth to the flame, Ray is back to see his old house and spy on his son.  He has a tail in the form of a black Chevy SUV, which you think he would have detected with his true detective skills! Chad, the most unlikely spawn of Ray, is playing a game with the nerd kids at recess. Ray notices he has his grandfather’s badge on display.  Chad sees Ray and gives a salute.  As Ray returns to his car, he notices some liquid underneath the vehicle and sees a tracking transponder has been placed.  Ray lights a cigarette and drives off, followed by the Chevy SUV.

Frank’s car is blocked and men jump out to kidnap him. At the ramshackle bar, Ani finally changes her ugly hair for even uglier hair. Ray calls and tells her about how he took a detour to see his son and now he’s being tracked.  He implores her to get on the boat as planned. Ani hands the phone to the bar owner, Ray tells her the truth, “I’m not going to make it.”

Another aerial shot, drink!  Frank is seen in Death Valley surrounded by cars and armed men. Ray is taping a voice message to his son, trying to explain why he can’t act himself out of a box! Tellingly, he refers to himself in the past tense.

Another aerial shot! Ray is driving in the woods, as he desperately tries to upload his voice message to his son.  Come on Ray, kids don’t know what voice messages even are and you’re roaming! Ray exits his car and leaves the large duffel bag of cash to have a dramatic foot race with the men pursuing him.

Meanwhile, Frank makes a tentative agreement with the Mexicans, one million dollars for his life.  One man asks Frank to throw in the suit off his back and Frank decides to stab him instead.  Frank is shot in the gut and left to die. He had the diamonds in his suit, but not much use when you’re dead.

Ray runs through the redwoods chased by well-armed men.  He shoots a few, as the evil Lieutenant calls to him, “You still have time!” (To make implausible stupid decisions? Sure.)  Frank is pursued by the ghost of his mean old man, as he walks though the valley of death.  Ani has boarded the boat and looks enigmatically at the sea.  Ray looks up at the trees as the bad Lieutenant asks him, “Where is Bezzarides?”

Ray replies, “In a better place.” Ray proceeds to run out from behind the trees and commit “death by cop.” On the ground, Ray’s iPhone has failed to upload his phone message to his son.  Ani senses his death on her boat to Mexico. (Is she seasick or pregnant?)

Frank continues to stumble onward until he sees Jordon in the white dress she planned to wear to meet in Venezuela.  She smiles at him and informs him he died a while back, but with Vince Vaughn, the viewer could hardly tell the difference!

Aerial shot of the trees.  Ray’s father learns of his death from the news while his ex-wife opens the DNA results, which prove Ray was Chad’s father. (I couldn’t have been more surprised if Jerry Springer himself was the father!) Paul is remembered by a “memorial freeway” even though he was accused of bad things. Toni Chessani is sworn in as the new mayor of Vinci because corruption never dies! Ani is heard in a voice-over stating, “We deserve a better world.” I suppose this is a nod back to her conversation with Ray, “We get the world we deserve.”  But all I can really think about is how we deserved a much better season!

 Final moments are in Venezuela.  Ani has had Ray’s baby, who looks just like Ray.  Jordon is an awesome nanny. Ani meets with the LA Times reporter to give him the evidence to hopefully expose a whole season’s worth of convoluted nonsense about diamonds, homicide and hookers.  She and Jordon take to the streets where celebration is in full swing.  The depressed bar singer adds the soundtrack to the final aerial view and it’s over at last!